i finally can say i've been able to close the door on three men that have been on my mind lately. one i'll always be in contact with, and he's a great friend to me. it's a shame that bruno and i can't meet at rainbo club once a week to chat just like we could when i lived in chicago. it's hard having friends that from my chicago days (claire & vince, too) that i don't see face to face regularly. it's not a bad thing either. i'll always have their support. and hey, there's email!
guy #2: only around for about 3 months (met him right before my april fool's resolution), and it just never really ever went anywhere. he told me he "liked me, but (he) wasn't always available." meaning the whole "i'm really busy, but know that i like you back" type thing. that conversation occured @ an undisclosed location after he bought me three shots of jager. it was almost as though he needed those shots more than i did. then he left the bar before i did that night. after that, nothing ever moved on. you'd think that after telling someone you liked them, that you'd try to make it happen so to speak. at least that's what i'd say. (p.s. i totally stole that line from an elliott smith song off the "new moon" compliation. it rocks.)
however, it just feels like the situation remained idle and then totally dropped by him. it's a very stupid thing that a grown-but-obviously-immature man is capable of doing that. we had a little run in a couple of days ago and i have no desire of ever speaking to him or acknowledging his presence. anyhow, i'm cool with it now.
guy #3: much to the dismay of friends that already know this situation, i sent someone from the past (2002-2004) a cd from his amazon wish list. we haven't spoken in 3.5 years. i know he got the cd on monday or tuesday (thanks to tracking a package) and now his wishlist is no longer public. i'm wondering if he's going to return the cd back to amazon or hold onto it. i'm not expecting a response back from him directly. but if he returns the cd, than i'll know he wished i'd never contacted him. to people who know the situation, i've finally got the closure i needed.
to those that don't here's some good advice: don't be afraid to take a risk, but don't assume the outcome before it happens.
in other news, i haven't been swimming in about two years. i'm breaking in my new swimsuit next week after my weekly scrabble game. yes, i have a weekly scrabble game. my partners consist of a lady friend/drinking buddy/dance partner/fellow lover of kings of leon and live music who's my age. and a classmate of hers. he keeps winning and he's younger than us. my goal before the end of summer is for one of us to beat him. i did score 27 pts. with spelling "herpes" though. it was a moment that i even had to capture with the camera on my phone. okay enough with the scrabble talk.
been reading more these past few weeks. so far working through: Susan Sontag's On Photography, Craig Seligman's excellent book Sontag & Kael: Opposites Attract Me, about critics Susan Sontag and Pauline Kael, and tons of old fashion magazines. reading both of the aforementioned books have been incredible so far. makes me want to write a research paper, and i haven't felt that since my comp 2 class six years ago.
i will be attending school in the fall.
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